Your new billionaire overload.

Hi, I'm Dave, your new CEO. We're going to streamline our service, providing great customer service, a role I've never been desperate for money to have, to make our customers feel great.

Sadly, poor creature who needs money, in a capitalist system that's been way out of control too long, ypu will be required to smile at everyone, saying "have a good day", at a place of work you'd like to bring a machine gun toosoon.

We're all about the image of pretending to care. We have a black LGBT Trans person on our front desk, because we like to market the idea that we care about anything but ourselves.

Meanwhile, in the directors suite, with nice leather chairs which we will nto provide to you, because a bar stool will do, we'll be asking questions like:

  • What does the Black Lives Matter movement to a predominantly white male board of directors?
  • Do we really need to fire a member of the board for sexual harassment? He always buys us drinks.
  • Who are these 'they' people, it confuses me?

At our bespoke offices, you'll be front line support, Front line, sounds Important.

Working in the banking industry, we do not have indemnity insurance for arrogant businessmen throwing keyboards at you, for the crime of not knowing their password. (the premiums came to too much, after several incidents)

You'll keep our systems running smoothly, on software from a guy called 'Dave' who recruited A level students to build something which always breaks.

If we do well on profits, it's because of our great board of directors, if anything goes wrong, you're fired.

We need a small team of software trained in everything, you know, coding, databases, servers, clusters, scalability, you're the one man IT department from now on.

Any ideas you have, even written down on a piece of paper, are ours, and we may as well own your soul.

We're so worried you'll tell anyone about our idea, so our security guards will follow you into the toilet.

We're an equal opportunities employer, don't worry, we treat everyone badly.

You'll have team building exercises, we've rented out the government war rooms, but sadly you can't access the ventilation systems, to cut the oxygen to everyone there, including yourself because, if you weren't "office buddies" you'd be ignoring everyone in said room.

We're fun and entertaining, you'll enforce the mediocrity of our society, by talking about the weather until you wish the sun reached down to empty your skull to save it from boredom

We're progressive, but only to our share value.

Our new swanky office, in Canary wharf, per square meter, is more than you will ever be able to afford, per square meter.

Each year we'll have a party for our CEO, who will pretend to be your friend, whilst refusing to pay your wages over Covid-19, and donating to the tory party amd the Daily Mail to get you to beg the government to take away your rights under the European Human Right's Actg.

We offer performance related pay on our telemarketing calls. You'll tolerate people screaming abuse at your all day, or, you'll go home on no money and cry, hai, it's your choice.

To anyone saying "play the game, buy a suit", "be the same", most businessmen care only for even more money, because millions is never enough, in a sick society exploitingeveryone else.

On the premise that number bank account means something about them as an individual, when all it is, is a entry in a Banking database, and nothing more than that, apart from to their peers, who value it more than their own integrity, or a sense of decency they lost years ago, in exchange for power, and a sense of importance.

It means nothing to me, it's not the virtues of decency, honour, trust, ultrrisim, and exists only, internally to themselves, for trinkets, a trophy wife, and golf clubs on a Sunday morning, for more cash, by likeminded peers to which it's important.

If I was playing golf on a Sunday morning, if not still up from the night before, I would probably ask myself "WTF has happened to my life".

So, if I should "play the game", to conform to a corrupt system based on greed. and greed alone, then why should I do so?

Jokes aside, would you like to work for us?

If so .. .why?